Showing posts with label single asian girl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single asian girl. Show all posts

Thursday, 7 November 2013

Breaking news: Muslim women like sex too. Who'd have thought it?!


After the launch of a Halal sex shop, one which is proving popular with women, Shelina Janmohamed implores society to stop just seeing female Muslims through the prism of a veil.

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An online Halal sex shop has just opened its digital doors out of Turkey. Over its first weekend it received more than 30,000 visitors.
Wait, what? A sex shop for Muslims? And one that is popular with Muslim women?
As a society, our discussions about Muslim women only go as far as whether they should wear hijabs, niqabs and burqas. Sometimes we think veiling is oppressive. Bizarrely, sometimes it’s seen as a bit saucy. But mostly we are just not sure if Muslim women should be allowed to decide for themselves.
And then along comes a story of aphrodisiacs, orgasm creams and Halal lubes that Muslim women (perhaps literally) are sucking up. Whilst this is exciting news for Turkey (will there be a baby boom in July 2014?), it’s not a world first. We’ve already seen plenty of coverage in the Netherlands, Bahrain and even Atlanta, USA. So why is a Muslim sex shop that women love, such big news.
Let’s pan out, and take a look at the landscape of ideas and news coverage when it comes to Muslim women. This week alone, Channel 4 news is running a series on “Britain’s niqab”. Barely weeks ago, Britain had its burqas in a twist at the thought of meeting a doctor who covers her face. (helpful tip: there aren’t any in the UK.) And it’s not just the UK that’s in a tizzy. Belgium passed a law banning the face veil, despite there being only thirty women who the country who wear it. Couldn’t the PM just call them round for a cup of tea and a chat instead to discuss their niqabs?
It’s a bit, erm, kinky, that what captures our imagination about Muslim women is either veiling or sex. Are Muslim women exotic and oriental, an ongoing titillation and sexual fetish for our consumption?
I think the answer is much simpler: Muslim women are depicted simply as bodies, covered or uncovered. Any deviation from this script is heavily policed. Ask Google images about Muslim women and you’ll get pages of black cloaks, with the odd nude women wearing nothing but a face veil. You’ll also find Lady Gaga in a gauzy neon pink burqa, Madonna with a bizarre niqab made of chain mail, and a Diesel Ad of a naked tattooed woman and denim burqa. No, I’m not making this up.
Women as a general rule face the challenge of being seen as nothing but bodies, but the problem is heightened for Muslim women where the entire debate focuses on what we do or don’t wear and whether we are brainwashed into our choices. Surprisingly even self-identified feminists will reduce Muslim women to what they wear, rather than hearing what Muslim women have to say.
Yet the female Muslim experience – including in Halal sex shops – has something experimental to offer women in general. There are women-only spaces created by Muslim women where a celebration of womanhood takes place outside the male gaze.
When so much of the feminist debate is dedicated to understanding what beauty, body and femininity mean when freed from the male gaze, these spaces already exist. These are finally places where ubiquitous sexualisation of the female form is banished. Weddings and parties are the most popular where Muslim women can explore what it means to be beautiful and sexy for themselves, and even do so across generations, without worrying about men.
Online Halal sex shops like this latest one in Turkey extend that courtesy to their customers, taking away the almost pornographic images. The owner of El Asira in the Netherlands, says that many of his customers are women who are not Muslim, because they find the imagery and tone less off-putting than traditional blue imagery. Halal sex shops give the chance to women to explore their sexuality without imposing pornographic norms.
Talking openly about sex and pleasure has only recently lost its taboo status in the West. It’s true that its public discussion in Muslim cultures is still difficult. However, in private among Muslim women, it’s as of much interest as anywhere in the world.
Muslims have form on the subject too, with love, sex and erotic manuals dating as far back to the eighth and ninth century Abbasid Muslim period. Rumi is perhaps the most famous of Muslim poets globally, he wasn’t shy about sexual references. And even the Prophet Muhammad pronounced that to deny women foreplay was a form of oppression.
A popular American Muslim scholar even has this to say: “There is certainly a case for producing an advanced manual in English drawing on Islam’s rich legacy in this field.”
So a sex shop that appeals to Muslim women is fun, important, and just as natural as everyone else’s lust. Stop the presses! Muslim women like sex too. Who’d have thought it?
Shelina Janmohamed is the author of Love in a Headscarf - Muslim Woman Seeks the One. She can be found tweeting here. She is the Vice President of Ogilvy Noor, the world's first branding agency for Muslim consumers.

Article from The Telegraph

Friday, 11 October 2013

Tips For Online Dating

1. Be ready to date. If you're not over a previous relationship or anxious and demotivated about going online, you'll self-sabotage. Wait until you're emotionally available, confident in yourself, ready to put in time and energy.
2. Decide what you want first. The site you use, your profile and photo all need to be chosen to suit the partner and partnership you're looking for. So before you ever go online, think carefully through your wants, needs, deal breakers.
3. Ignore the numbers. No site – however huge their database – will bring you results if the site users aren't your kind of people. Plus, the ones with big memberships can overwhelm you with numbers. Instead, trawl sites to find one you personally identify with.
4. Don't sell – invite. Writing your profile shouldn't be a marketing exercise. In fact, research suggests the more you major on "I", the more you'll actively put people off. Instead, welcome in prospective partners by writing warmly about the relationship you'd love to have with them.
5. Choose a welcoming photo not a mug shot. Get a friend or a professional photographer to take hundreds of photos of you smiling and laughing. Then choose the ones where you look the most relaxed and approachable.
6. Don't go shopping. Studies suggest that, when faced with too much choice in partners, we make decisions on irrelevant criteria, such as whether someone wears glasses. Instead, decide who to approach based on whether their profile lets you imagine having a good relationship with them.
7. Get real – and get real early. Don't fall for the spell of email and text - feeling close online says nothing about whether you're compatible in real life. So talk on the phone and meet up as soon as you possibly can.
8. Tell the truth. Most folk on dating sites are genuinely looking for love – if they're not, they go to 'hook-up' or 'married' sites. But many people are also insecure, so tweak age, height or weight to make a good impression. It works best to be truthful – anything else creates a false start to love.
9. Don't expect instant success. In everyday life you may meet hundreds of people at work, socially or by chance before you find someone to date. The same's true online – it can take months of regular searching before you find a match.
10. Ignore bad behaviour. Because online dating's so new, we haven't worked out the courtesies: for example, many people don't respond to approaches made to them. So if you get snubbed, rejected or dumped, ignore it; not your fault.
11. Get support. Find a dating buddy, someone to help you through the tricky stages, support you through disappointment, celebrate your success.
About Susan Quilliam
Susan Quilliam's work in this field spans coaching, writing, broadcasting, training and consulting. Her background is in psychology and counselling.
More tips from Susan Quilliam on her Online Dating Coach website.